


you're cold (and i burn)

by morganaes



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/F, Heavy Angst, Rating May Change, angst makes the world go round, what can i say lads
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-22 09:39:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10694358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morganaes/pseuds/morganaes
Summary: a collection of angsty drabbles and oneshots where each chapter is based on one oftheseor a prompt i received/found





	1. It never works for us, and it never will.

“It never worked for us, and it never will.” She says, tone sharp and with finality in her voice.

Silence is her only answer. She can see the way the other woman swallows and closes her eyes in pain through the reflection of her office’s glass windows, but she makes no move to comfort her nor does she even acknowledge it.

She takes a moment to wonder if the blonde can see how her heart keeps breaking itself in even tinier pieces before she gets herself under control again. She thinks of all that is at risk here, remembers all the letters and late night texts from unknown numbers she received, and steels herself to her fate - their fate.

 _You can have a breakdown later,_ she tells herself, _just focus on what you have to do now._

“I thought it'd be easy, you know? I thought love would be enough.” She finally turns around to face the blonde and has to suppress a flinch when she says all the pain in in the other woman’s face. “I was wrong. You have other priorities and other concerns, you have an entire city depending on you. It's clear you can't put me, you can't put us, above it.” She gives a cold smile, leaning back on her desk and crossing her arms, hoping it'll hide the way her hands tremble. “I should've never allowed this in the first. I have to stay focused on L-Corp and my plans for the future, so perhaps this will be for the best. For both of us.”

The taller woman shakes her head, taking a step forward as tears make their way down her face.

“Lena, what- what are you trying to say?” She asks. “I’m saying I can't do this anymore.”

Kara turns around then, jaw clenched and her hands trying to dry her face to no avail. Curling her hands into fists so her nails dig into her palms, the green eyed woman hopes the physical pain will distract her from the emotional pain she's inflicting on herself.

“Lee, please. Don't I have a say in this?” Kara says, turning back around and waving her hands. “You can't just break up with me like this.”

“I can and I will.” Lena says, face stoic while her heart beats like a war drum. “Or are you going to stop me, _Supergirl?_ ”

* * *

Hours after Kara left, Lena is still having trouble to forget the look of hurt that crossed the blue eyed woman’s face as she stumbled back. She keeps telling herself this is the right thing - she's just not believing it anymore.

She's almost finished drinking an entire bottle of wine by herself when her phone chirps beside her, signaling a new message.

 _Is it done?_ is the only thing it says, from the same unknown number as before.

She stares at it for a long time, finishing her glass of wine before she replies.

_Yes._


	2. I keep asking myself why the sun isn't bright anymore, [...]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I keep asking myself why the sun isn't bright anymore, but then I remember you're no longer in my life and I realize it's just my own eyes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for [kyra](http://gaycanary.tumblr.com).
> 
> this chapter was also inspired by [this](http://lenvluthor.tumblr.com/post/144632744835/) amazing version of tswift's all too well.

Making herself comfortable on her couch, she dials the number from memory, never mind the fact it's still saved on her phone and she has it favorited.

_Hi, this is Lena. I can't answer your call right now, but if you leave me a message with your name and number, I’ll return it as soon as possible._

She considers hanging up. She is aware that this is a bad idea that's she certainly going to regret later - and oh, how she's going to regret it - but she was never good at refraining herself it came to the other woman.

_Beep._

“Lena, I’m- hey.” She breathes into the receiver, closing her eyes and clutching the throw pillow closer to her chest. “It's me. Kara.”

She clears her throat, throwing the pillow to the side so she can get up and pace around the livingroom. Rao, what is she _doing_?

“I know it's late over there. You're probably working though - you always are.” She smiles to herself, coming to a stop in front of the window. “I hope you're not overworking yourself like before. I- I know I'm not supposed to care anymore but just,” She sighs. “I hope you're looking after yourself.”

She looks at the view outside her window for a moment before resting her forehead on the cool glass, closing her eyes again.

“I wasn't- I didn't plan on calling you, I know I shouldn't even be doing it, but.” She bits her lip. “Your scarf. Alex gave me it earlier today. It was under one of the couch’s cushions, apparently, and she uh.

She thinks it ended up there after one too many beers on one of our game nights.”

She blinks her eyes open, turning around so she can look at the scarf laying on her coffee table. She makes a mental note to put it in a drawer later.

“It made me… _Rao_ ,” She breathes, trying to stop herself from crying.

She thinks back to their first picnic date on the park, where she used that scarf to pull Lena closer for a kiss. Remembers her plaid pajamas Lena stole, that she'd wear more often than not when they went to bed together - the pajamas she found folded on top of her bed when Lena left. She thinks of how difficult it was - and still is - to sleep alone without the other woman's warmth.

“It made me wonder how my home doesn't feel like home.” She finishes, the not anymore not needing to be said. “I promised you that you’d never lose me and I… I thought that meant I wouldn't lose you either.”

She sniffles a little, brings up a hand to wipe her tears. She wonders if this will hurt any less one day.

“I keep asking myself why the sun isn't bright anymore, but then I remember you're no longer in my life and I realize it's just my own eyes.”

She crosses the living room so she can pick the scarf up, clenching it tightly in her hand.

“Things are not the same and I’m not doing well with those changes. I just-” She swallows back a sob. “I hope you're doing better than me. I hope… I hope you found what you were looking for, found something that made you happy.”

She closes her eyes and breaths in deeply, bringing the scarf up to her chest.

“Goodbye, Lee. I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me at [@morganaes](http://morganaes.tumblr.com) on tumblr


End file.
